There's a skill I never realized I had until someone pointed it out to me...
I recently had a conversation where a private client told me:
"You don't really answer my questions on a synctactic level. But somehow, I end up with the answer I needed."
That struck me. Because it's true.
Answering literally makes you a good communicator.
Answering the unspoken makes you impactful. Answering the unasked makes you influential.
Why most questions are badly framed.
People rarely ask the question they truly need answered.
- They ask about a concept. But what they need is the mechanism.
- They ask for a definition. But what they're really after is the pattern.
- They ask for a fact. But what they crave is the mirror.
When someone asks a question, there are three layers:
- Syntax: the literal wording. Often imprecise, rushed, or superficial.
- Intention: what they actually want to know, feel, or secure but they won't formulate clearly.
- Blind spot(s): the real source of the question, usually unconscious.
If you answer only level 1, you miss the point. You'll just satisfy their curiosity.
If you go to level 2 and 3, you answer what they meant to ask.