How do you disarm someone who puts you down or throws a passive-aggressive comment your way?
Simple response:
“That's interesting. Can you tell me more?”
Why is this phrase so powerful?
- It flips the script.
- Puts the ball back in their court.
- Stimulates curiosity.
- Highlights their agenda.
By asking this question you start by disarming them.
Generally, they love to disturb us when saying passive-agressive stuffs. They don't really expect an answer. When faced with negativity or subtle jabs, our instinct often tells us to react defensively.
By asking them to continue, to give more details... you are basically asking them to be... honest. And believe it or not, for most people, that's very hard.
Instead, adopting this approach, you are showing kindness and leave them a chance to... correct themselves:
- It disengages from the negativity.
- It encourages the other person to open up.
- It creates a space where their true intentions start to unravel.
Here's what typically happens:
The person either pauses, taken aback by your unexpected calmness and interest, or they continue speaking, unintentionally revealing their motives.
👉 This is the beauty of living and breathing in the grey area.
Outsmart, not through aggression, but through intelligence and understanding.
Remember:
The goal isn’t confrontation, but insight. You need to them to TALK MORE. Like a good intelligence operative, you listen, you observe.
This approach allows you to act with empathy, while also holding your ground.
It’s about seeing beyond the surface - understanding the game, and not being a pawn on the board.