In 2024, I started collaborating with someone who operates in a truly unique space: a mix of influence, power, jet-set glamour, and cultural connections.
It’s a world where million-dollar deals are signed over cocktails, at exclusive events, and during fleeting conversations in glamorous settings.
Here’s what I do for him - and why it works.
Behind every success story is preparation
When he first approached me, his challenge was clear:
“How do I navigate these circles without falling into traps? How do I maximize opportunities while avoiding disasters?”
My solution? A two-pronged approach:
1- Background checks:
For every person or entity he engages with, I perform thorough due diligence. In these circles, appearances can be deceiving.
- The charming investor at the gala? He had a history of failed ventures.
- The “reputable” cultural foundation? A web of controversies hidden in plain sight.
This process ensures he’s always aware of the true nature of the people he’s dealing with.
2- Mastering the art of mingling:
Deals in his world are ALL about connections, presence, and charisma. Before every meeting or event, we plan everything:
- Who will be present?
- What are their values, goals, and possible hidden agendas?
- How can he subtly guide conversations toward his objectives?
By the time he steps into the room, he’s prepared and confident, almost omniscient.
Mingling is an art form.
It’s more than small talk over champagne flutes or exchanging business cards.
Done correctly, mingling becomes a strategic maneuver - an opportunity to extract information, forge alliances, and position yourself as a key player in high-stakes environments.
So how do you do "mingling" in elite circles? Follow the below guide.
1. The foundation: observe before you engage
Before diving into conversations, a spy understands the room.
Who holds the power?
Who is influencing whom?
In these gatherings, power dynamics are subtle, revealed in gestures, seating arrangements, or who initiates conversation.
How to do it:
- Scan the room: Observe interactions. Who commands attention? Who is left lingering? This gives you a map of the social hierarchy.
- Spot gatekeepers: Identify those who control access to key players. Sometimes, the assistant or bodyguard holds more power than the CEO.
Remember, the best intelligence is gathered by watching before speaking.
Tip: pay attention to the silent people. They are generally the most important people in the room.
2. The entrance: make your presence known subtly
Spies don’t announce their arrival. They blend in while making a quiet but memorable impact.
When mingling, your demeanor should project confidence and approachability without seeming overly eager.
How to do it:
- Dress to fit the scene: understand the culture of the event. Understated elegance often wins in elite circles.
- Use non-verbal signals: a confident posture, steady eye contact, and a genuine smile can be more impactful than words.
- Choose strategic positions: Position yourself near high-traffic areas like the bar or entry points. You’ll naturally encounter key individuals.
3. The conversation: the art of subtle probing
In HUMINT, asking questions is an art. The goal is to gather valuable information without making the other person feel interrogated.
Elite mingling is no different; you want to extract insights while making the other person feel heard and valued.
How to do it:
- Ask open-ended questions: “What brought you to this event?” or “How do you see this industry evolving?” encourage them to share their perspective.
- Mirror and label: Reflect their words or name their emotions. For example, “It sounds like you’re really passionate about innovation.”
- Sprinkle in strategic self-disclosure: Share just enough about yourself to build trust without dominating the conversation.
Generally… just let them talk to you… a lot.
The more they talk, the more they’ll appreciate you🤷🏻♀️
4. The exit: leave a lasting impression
The way you end an interaction is as important as how you begin it. Spies ensure that their encounters leave the other party intrigued and wanting more.
How to do it:
- Express eenuine gratitude: thank them for their time and insights. Specificity makes it more impactful (“I really enjoyed hearing your perspective on X”).
- Create a good reason to reconnect: mention a shared interest or follow-up opportunity (“I’d love to share that article we discussed”).
- End on a “high” note: leave when the conversation is still engaging. This ensures they’ll remember the interaction positively.
5. Advanced techniques (HUMINT tricks)
To truly “network like a spy,” leverage these advanced tactics:
- The power of silence: A well-placed pause encourages others to fill the gap, often revealing more than they intended.
- The “accidental” encounter: If there’s someone you’re keen to meet, orchestrate a natural-looking encounter. Make it happen. Use baits if necessary. Timing and setting are everything.
- The “third-party effect:” Let someone else introduce you to increase credibility. Shared connections are gold in elite circles.
I built a course dedicated to the art of networking... just like a spy. If you want more techniques, I strongly advise you have a look!
Mingling in circles of influence is about building trust and creating opportunities.
Approach every interaction with curiosity, respect, and strategic intent.